“I’ve been given an Ewok.” — Karl Pilkington on travelling the world with Warwick Davis in An Idiot Abroad 3: The Short Way Round.
“Come together and annoy Karl. He is your leader. He is your messiah! He is your god! And he fucking hates it.” — Ricky Gervais
“Would Columbus have found America, if he’d had a Sat Nav? No. He wouldn’t.” — Karl Pilkington is annoyed with satellite navigation.
“Every noise has been used at least 5 times, because there’s only so many noises in the world. It’s like a piano, and there’s only so many notes. There’s just so much stuff, the same noises are being used again.” — Karl Pilkington on noises
“Noise stresses me out. I wonder if less deaf people die of stress than people with working ears do.” — Karl Pilkington
“Ghosts don’t eat, do they? So you don’t need all your liver, and your kidneys and stuff, because they’re only there to sort your food out. But your eyes? If I’m gonna be a ghost, I don’t want to be a blind ghost.” — Karl Pilkington on why he doesn’t want to be an eye donor after he dies
“I think you should just do what you want, don’t go out of your way too much. I like watching weird stuff and all that, now, I’ll just tape it. But, sometimes, sometimes you just say “Now, come on. There’s a bloke with two heads on, I want to watch it live.” It shouldn’t be hard. As soon as it’s hard, it’s not right. Just go about your business, and see if she joins in.” — Karl Pilkington gives advice on how to keep your girlfriend happy
“It’s weird though. The other week, I just sat in the garden, slobbering. Just to see if it would ever run out. And it’s amazing! Where does it all come from?” — Karl Pilkington on dribbling
“Jellyfishes are 97 per cent water, or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3 per cent and make them water - that’ll be more useful.” — Karl Pilkington on how jellyfish are useless
“It’s a trend, it won’t last long… like hummus.” — Karl Pilkington
“There’s a restaurant somewhere that sells knobs to eat. Women can’t eat too many of them, and if you want a seal’s knob for dinner you have to book in advance…” — Karl Pilkington
“At the end of the day, if we copy insects… we wouldn’t go far wrong.” — Karl Pilkington
rightoutsideyourwindow replied to your quote: The weird thing was, even though I got rid of them…
I am just replying so everyone can see the amazingness that is this GIF.
“The weird thing was, even though I got rid of them all, you’d be vacuuming up and you’d always hear one, tinging it’s way up the tube.” — Karl Pilkington on when his dad bought 30 crates of tic tac
